


Childhood Memories

by shan_love



Series: Femslash Yuletide 2014 [22]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Drabble, F/F, Gen, Holidays, Light Angst, Memories, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-03 20:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2886122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shan_love/pseuds/shan_love
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You just seemed far away for a minute there,” she began again, “And I wondered where you were,”</p><p>Carmilla sighed, “It’s nothing to worry about, cupcake. Just a memory,”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Childhood Memories

Though the fully decorated tree in the corner, not to mention the veritable tower of brightly wrapped presents, was beautifully eye-catching, that wasn’t the view that had Laura so entranced. No, what held her gaze was the faraway expression on Carmilla’s face as she, in turn, stared at the spot just between the merrily crackling fire and the tree itself.

As if sensing the smaller girls’ eyes, the vampire turned, cocking a single dark brow. “What?”

“Nothing!” she said quickly, too quickly, really, “You just seem…I don’t know. Distracted?”

Carmilla frowned. “I’m sorry,”

“No! No, I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad about it, you just-” she cut herself off, “You just seemed far away for a minute there,” she began again, “And I wondered where you were,”

She sighed and, after a moment of silent contemplation, she shook her head. “It’s nothing to worry about, cupcake. Just a memory,”

At Laura’s slightly guilty look, she offered a languid smile and tucked the smaller girl’s head beneath her chin, “Not like that,” she assured, “From before. When I was a child,”

“Oh,” she blinked. That hadn’t been what she was expecting. “Tell me,” she urged, nestling herself more firmly into the brunettes side. It wasn’t often that the vampire, _her_ vampire, spoke of her past. Not without prodding. And she wanted to hear it all.

Carmilla, still smiling absently, threaded her fingers through Laura’s hair and, in a quiet voice that turned both time and distance into meaningless ideas, she began, “It was 1691 and I’d just turned eleven,” she said, her voice soft, “ _Vater_ was in the capitol on business so it was just us. Well, us and our servants and my siblings, of which there were…many,”

Laura, suddenly hit with the desire to loose an explosive ‘You had _siblings_?!’, fought her natural inquisitiveness because, really, it was hard enough getting the vampire to talk _without_ interruptions, let alone with them.

“ _Mutter_ and I were never close,” she continued, unaware of the tiny humans struggle to remain silent, “I wasn’t her favorite; that honor belonged to Niklaus, by far. I was too precocious, too much like _vater_ which, of course, wasn’t proper,” she laughed, the sound ever-so-slightly tinged with bitterness, “But I ranked highly with him and at least I wasn’t her _least_ favorite – that was Tobias’ fate, poor boy – and…well, I’m getting off topic, aren’t I cutie?”

Laura nodded and, before she could stop herself, blurted out, “Howmanyofyouwerethere?”

Carmilla blinked, seemingly nonplussed by the rapidity of her questions delivery. Once she’d figured out where each word ended and the next began, she answered, “We were five, the children von Karnstein,” she said, wetting her lips, “Niklaus, Katharina, Elena, Tobias, and myself,”

She smiled against her neck, completely charmed by the idea of a baby Carmilla. “You were the youngest?”

She shrugged. “Someone had to be,” she said, before settling back into her story, “Now, where was I? Right, _Vater_ was on business and I was, mostly, left to my own devices. I spent hours wandering the grounds, sneaking around in the secret passages, avoiding my tutors, and generally making a nuisance of myself,” that earned her a laugh.

“And, when I was done wandering, I suddenly found myself in the main hall. I don’t know why, really, there wasn’t usually anything to see there, but the servants had just brought in the tree – one of many – and it was like this…this heaven-reaching blank canvas that I _had_ to paint on,”

“So, like the spoiled noble girl I was, I ordered them about imperiously, making them place this there and that over there, no, over _there_ ,” she chuckled, “I must have held them all up from their duties because, the next thing I knew, there was _mutter_ , ready to screech her disapproval. Only, when she saw the tree, she didn’t yell. She just…she stopped. And stared. And, when she finally looked at me, she seemed so…so _proud_ ,” the word caught in her throat and she struggled to clear it, “Like she had no idea I was capable of making something so beautiful,”

There was a beat of silence where Carmilla lost, and struggled to find, her voice. When she finally did, her words were quiet, even somber, but there was a hint of pride along the edges, “I decorated the tree in the main hall every year until I was killed,”

Laura sat up in her lap, giving her a soft look, “Why didn’t you say something earlier? If I’d known you wanted to help I would’ve waited,”

“Because,” she began, tucking a stray piece of hair behind the other girls ear, “When I walked in and I saw the tree _you_ did, I just…I finally understood, _understand_ , what she felt that day. What she saw,”

“What?”

“Me,” she began, “For once, I wasn’t just the youngest von Karstein. I wasn’t difficult or stubborn or…or _flawed_. For the first time in, maybe, my entire life, she saw _me_. She saw Mircalla and she was proud,”

She met Laura’s eyes and, to the humans surprise, the familiar dark depths were glistening with unshed tears, “When I look at our tree, all I see is you,” she husked, “And it’s _beautiful_ ,”

Now fighting tears of her own, Laura, powerless to do anything else, leaned in to capture the vampire’s mouth in a searing kiss, hoping she could express even a tenth of the emotion her girlfriend just had.

And, when she felt the familiar wet warmth of tears on her cheeks, she didn’t have the heart to question whose they were.


End file.
